It just feels like screaming.

I have never been more subconsciously anxious in my entire life. It feels like my insides are literally screaming at all times. I have so much nervous energy that I cleaned my house at 6am this morning, before I went to my day job. I’m fairly certain my neighbors want my head on a pike.  

Why, you may be wondering, am I so anxious? I sent out my advanced reader copies last week. I already know about a plethora of corrections that are needed, that I, in fact, have already made to the proof, but my advanced readers will be seeing the mistakes, the missteps, the flaws I so desperately tried to hide. So, the OCD driven perfectionist in me is screaming at the top of her lungs. Gods, help me. Athena, goddess of wisdom, give me aid! Freya, you cunning goddess, please sooth my intrepid mind! Okay, those are the goddesses I always have on hand, but if you have anyone else I should be calling to please let me know. Maybe I should be calling on Morpheus to make my dreams a reality, anyone with the divine power to make this novel succeed and not fail... how many goats do I need to sacrifice?  

The sane part of me, or rather the logical part, (I’m not sure there is any sanity left in me), knows that my advanced readers will not be getting back to me for some time. My release is still teetering about the late August release date. Confirmation of the date will come with a single week’s notice because that’s just how the small presses operate.  
In other news, I am so psyched for SIWC (Surrey International Writers Conference) this year! Even though tickets are not on sale just yet, but you know I’m going to be on that webpage at 0 hour. I’m hoping desperately to get my book on the roster for the in-house book store, but if I can’t pull that off I will be selling copies out of the trunk of my car or the door of my hotel room? No matter what I’ll make sure copies are available. I’m currently working on a couple of short stories for the writing contest at the conference. I’m not expecting to win, but worst case scenario I’m out $30 for the entry fees and I’ve supported an organization that I love.  
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Waning of the Moon edits have sort of halted before they even really began. I started piecing together the POVs that I wrote and then my first proofs and ARCs came in and I rushed into that, leaving the edits in the dust. I’ll get back to them soon. I know I have some betas dying to know what the next chapter in Sol’s saga is... it’s messy and heart breaking just as a little heads up. This beast is going to take a lot of finessing. I’ve learned so much over the last year through the publishing process. I think I’m coming out a better writer on the other side of all of this... I hope Dawning of the Sun came out a better novel and I hope that I just keep getting better at this whole writing thing.  
Hope. I use that term a lot. Despite the decaying state of the world and society I still have that spark of light humming gently at the back of my heart, looking towards a future with less mess and more creation. So, fingers crossed that my career as a writer is about to kick off with a bang and some much needed luck.  ​